LITTLE ORDERED BITS OF MY DISORDERED LIFE. Chapter 3.
CHAPTER 3.
Continuation.
The flat in Malpica during the summer was the best. She really enjoyed those days, much more than she would enjoy years later her summer vacation. Her mother rented a flat to Begoña, along with other girls, for a month in the summer. The month when peace was restored. In one of those last summers of peace she made a new friend. A girl who lived in the buildings at the end of the street. She was four years older than she was, she was fourteen and a brother with Dawn syndrome. All three had a good time. Maria loved her and her brother even more, he hugged her several times every day. They did not stop for much in the neighborhood. After the TV novel (Crystal, 1990) they went to a park that was a little further away. They played with new friends, and every two weeks they bought Super Pop and read surrealistic articles about the New Kids On The Block. In the park there were two girls smaller than the rest, Natalia was five and Marta three. The other children were laughing at Marta because she still did not speak well and was not able to run as fast as they did, so Marta was almost always alone on the side playing with grass. But she hated seeing her like in that way, and wanted her to spend the evenings together. She carried her in her arms to run when they had to escape from another child, climb her onto the seesaw and hold her, so she did not shut up, play with her to make small meals, and speak sweetly. Besides, she loved to look at her, she was a pretty girl with a head full of blond curls and huge blue eyes.
But there was also a boy his age who was bad. He annoyed all the others, sometimes he beat them and few defended themselves because they feared him, because he was "Ivan the bad boy", something like Ivan the Terrible. She tried not to get close to him, but she also pestered her when she saw the opportunity. One afternoon Ivan decided not to leave her alone. She held on. It lasted most of the afternoon. But when they went home he said something about his father, who had not been for a long time. Already they had said ugly things about his father, and she does not know why she could not do like the others this time; Look at the floor, close her ears and keep walking. She turned and pushed Ivan. Soon, they were surrounded by the rest of the children, there was a fight and had to go to see it. Ivan shoved him back. Maria took her hand and tried to push her away, so they could leave. But she pushed again and knew what it meant what she had heard: "the nerve is worth more than the force", because she managed to throw him to the ground. That day she wore the only pretty girl dress she had. She looked more tanned with white drees over the brown skin of the sun, below his knees, and had a bow on his back. But she had not chosen well for the occasion. At that moment she would have liked to have put on some jeans. She still lifted her leg and kicked him. That had to be his good day, because he screamed and cringed on himself holding his belly. It must have hit him in the pit of his stomach. She was not used to doing those things and thought that maybe it had happened. So he mumbled something with clenched fists, turned and finally they were able to leave. The next day they returned to the park. She was afraid. Ivan was going to take a good beating. But nothing happened. That day Ivan did not get into any of them, and although a couple of afternoons later returned to the charge, she never bothered her, or anyone who was with her. And she felt good. She had defended herself. For the first time in her life she had defended herself. But the best thing was that she had won, she had put away the bully boy in the park. She would not do anything like that for many years, but there was always the inner comfort that Ivan had continued to be the bully for a long time, and she had once stopped him.
* * * * * *
Jo March. Clarifing things for first time in life.
The one and only time in life I've been violent for not trying to protect or defend myself.
Continuation.
The flat in Malpica during the summer was the best. She really enjoyed those days, much more than she would enjoy years later her summer vacation. Her mother rented a flat to Begoña, along with other girls, for a month in the summer. The month when peace was restored. In one of those last summers of peace she made a new friend. A girl who lived in the buildings at the end of the street. She was four years older than she was, she was fourteen and a brother with Dawn syndrome. All three had a good time. Maria loved her and her brother even more, he hugged her several times every day. They did not stop for much in the neighborhood. After the TV novel (Crystal, 1990) they went to a park that was a little further away. They played with new friends, and every two weeks they bought Super Pop and read surrealistic articles about the New Kids On The Block. In the park there were two girls smaller than the rest, Natalia was five and Marta three. The other children were laughing at Marta because she still did not speak well and was not able to run as fast as they did, so Marta was almost always alone on the side playing with grass. But she hated seeing her like in that way, and wanted her to spend the evenings together. She carried her in her arms to run when they had to escape from another child, climb her onto the seesaw and hold her, so she did not shut up, play with her to make small meals, and speak sweetly. Besides, she loved to look at her, she was a pretty girl with a head full of blond curls and huge blue eyes.
But there was also a boy his age who was bad. He annoyed all the others, sometimes he beat them and few defended themselves because they feared him, because he was "Ivan the bad boy", something like Ivan the Terrible. She tried not to get close to him, but she also pestered her when she saw the opportunity. One afternoon Ivan decided not to leave her alone. She held on. It lasted most of the afternoon. But when they went home he said something about his father, who had not been for a long time. Already they had said ugly things about his father, and she does not know why she could not do like the others this time; Look at the floor, close her ears and keep walking. She turned and pushed Ivan. Soon, they were surrounded by the rest of the children, there was a fight and had to go to see it. Ivan shoved him back. Maria took her hand and tried to push her away, so they could leave. But she pushed again and knew what it meant what she had heard: "the nerve is worth more than the force", because she managed to throw him to the ground. That day she wore the only pretty girl dress she had. She looked more tanned with white drees over the brown skin of the sun, below his knees, and had a bow on his back. But she had not chosen well for the occasion. At that moment she would have liked to have put on some jeans. She still lifted her leg and kicked him. That had to be his good day, because he screamed and cringed on himself holding his belly. It must have hit him in the pit of his stomach. She was not used to doing those things and thought that maybe it had happened. So he mumbled something with clenched fists, turned and finally they were able to leave. The next day they returned to the park. She was afraid. Ivan was going to take a good beating. But nothing happened. That day Ivan did not get into any of them, and although a couple of afternoons later returned to the charge, she never bothered her, or anyone who was with her. And she felt good. She had defended herself. For the first time in her life she had defended herself. But the best thing was that she had won, she had put away the bully boy in the park. She would not do anything like that for many years, but there was always the inner comfort that Ivan had continued to be the bully for a long time, and she had once stopped him.
* * * * * *
Jo March. Clarifing things for first time in life.
The one and only time in life I've been violent for not trying to protect or defend myself.
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